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<title>it's not fine by penguinmina_uwu</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27607607">it's not fine</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/penguinmina_uwu/pseuds/penguinmina_uwu'>penguinmina_uwu</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst and Feels, Gen, Han Jisung | Han-centric, Not Beta Read, References to Depression, Sad, Sad Han Jisung | Han, Watch Out For Triggers, We Die Like Men, Yet Another Rant Fic, he's sad but won't acknowledge it, like me :), uhhh be careful</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 01:55:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>376</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27607607</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/penguinmina_uwu/pseuds/penguinmina_uwu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It's fine.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>me ranting through idols</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>it's not fine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m pretending to be fine with a smile on my face</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>~ Taeyeon</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>He held his head up high, smiling and laughing. He was trying but failing. His social life was going down. He didn’t mean to, but he was avoiding his friends. The last proper conversation he had with them was a few weeks ago. He didn’t want to bother them. They don’t try to speak with him anymore. Even though that’s what he was going for, it still didn’t feel good.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s fine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His parents weren’t happy with him. The house was filled with so much negativity. The tension was so thick that you could cut it with a knife. He could feel the disappointment rolling off of them in waves. They would argue over and over again. He would be wrongly blamed for whatever his little sister did. He would get yelled at for doing nothing wrong. He was hit a couple of times. He kept trying to please them, even though his attempts went to waste. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s fine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>School sucks. Everyone and their grandmothers know that. He tried his hardest. He tried so goddamn hard. But nothing worked. His grades slipped and he couldn’t even find the energy in him to care. He would get zeros on assignments because he would forget about them. His parents would yell at him, but he doesn’t care. He wants to. He wants to sit down and study for everything. He wants to get good grades but he can’t. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s fine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He feels numb. He can’t feel anything. He doesn’t remember much anymore. It’s scary, but he doesn’t know how to fix it. Whenever he gets the ability to experience emotions again, all he feels is the heavy weight of sadness. The sadness that’s ripping him apart, piece by piece. He wants to yell and scream at the universe for fucking his life up. He wants to let go of his pain and start all over. He wants so much, but he can’t have it. He knows he’s being selfish. He brought this pain onto himself. He chose to mask it and show a fake self in front of others. It’s his fault and now he has to live with it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s fine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It has to be.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yay another vent fic. *slow claps* Yea this one is really badly written. I wrote it in like 5-10 ish minutes. So it's really not good. It's also really short. So why it took that long is beyond me. Maybe cause I was crying but who knows. I was also listening to Fine by Taeyeon on repeat while writing this. I love that song with a passion. </p><p>Anyways I hope you enjoyed my word vomit. Until we meet again!<br/>                                             ~ penguinmina_uwu</p></blockquote></div></div>
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